My version. (C.j's love story) prt 2

August 24th 2011.

I did as I planned. Philip as expected just hung up and didn't care. I grabbed the pills and whiskey. I thought to myself, what would C.j think? I went online and told him "goodbye, that I was so sorry." I didn't tell him my feelings because I didn't want there to be a chance for me to survive and me to be together with him. I didn't want anybody to love me. Because I knew nobody did. I put the bottle of pills in my mouth and swallowed it down with whiskey. My heart began to race and my mind began showing me something. I saw me and a boy. We kissed. And I was in my wedding dress. Dad and everyone were so happy. Then Philip came in through the doors and said I object. I told him it was too late. 10 years too late. He fell to his knees and began sobbing.  He told me he always loved me. And I pushed him away. Exactly what he did to me.  I looked up to the boy and he was C.j. I looked at him and I blushed rapidly. Is this real??

I woke up in the tree of my backyard and I almost fell. All I could think about was C.j. His smile. It made me feel the butterflies in my stomach.  Or was that the alcohol? I wobbled back inside the house. Dads on the computer.  Unaware of everything. I went into my room Sarah looked at me and hugged me tightly. She told me that she was looking for me. I hugged her back and I started to cry. I told her what I did. And she cried with me. She called up Philip. Right as he picked up the phone I hung up the phone for her.  "Don't call him. He needs to feel how it's like to lose someone."

My new plan was revenge.  I was still uneasy about c.j. but I wanted to try to make it work. I drunk told C.j on Facebook what I did. He started to freak out. He told me that he'll go and see me tomorrow if I don't die today. I said I'll bet on that. And I smiled. I got a message from Cathy and Natasha both saying sorry and I heard that Lori is ok.  I smiled and layed down. While every bone. Every nerve was making me shake. I was having an anxiety attack. I layed down and I couldn't stop shaking. I soon couldn't feel my feet or my hands. They started to get cold. And I couldn't stop it. I cried and made a wish for someday for me to find the one I truly love and will love me forever. I layed down hoping that id survive.